The one commitment to steer you out of burnout today.
Burnout isn’t your fault.
The world at large relies on most of us going beyond capacity in order to make rent, meet the deadline and/or fight for justice. For almost all of us we are facing a burnout epidemic in Land, body and systems that sustain life.
Burnout is a systemic and intergenerational illness with vast & lasting impact.
Humans are a single cell in the cosmos of Earth and a universe within. You, me and every Life is connected in some way, along some path, grouping or action. We are a part of the systems at play. We need societal changes, healing and abolition. To reduce burnout we need collective healing actions and enough of us centring freedom for all of us to live free.
Where willing and able, we can make life changes to minimize burnout, now and for generations to come. We can heal from inside burnout and use personal power as a launch pad for a path designed by you, for whatever and whoever you are here for.
This commitment; to get clear on what is and isn’t yours, is one only you can make.
This decision - what am I willing and able to be responsible for? - reorients trajectory, sparks recovery and prevents ongoing burnout by steering inner resources back to you. And you being resourced is what supports your work, community, family, values and freedom. There is no way to give another person oxygen if you are gasping for air yourself. Getting clear and staying in your lane is the oxygen mask of now. This isn’t a call for an individualistic world, it is a call to take care of you also, as part of the whole big world you are here to fight, care and, perhaps even die for.
Burnout is not your fault, but it is your responsibility.
Below I introduce to you The 12 stages of Burnout, according to the psychologists Gail North and Herbert Freudenberger. I will also highlight some of the signs to look for along the way.
The 12 stages of Burnout
1. The Compulsion to Prove Oneself: demonstrating worth obsessively; tends to hit the best workers, those with enthusiasm who accept responsibility readily.
2. Working Harder: an inability to switch off.
3. Neglecting Needs: erratic sleeping, eating disrupted and/or lack of social interaction.
4. Displacement of Conflicts: problems are dismissed; we may feel threatened, panicky, and jittery.
5. Revision of Values: Values are skewed, friends and family dismissed, hobbies seen as irrelevant. Work/justice is the only focus.
6. Denial of Emerging Problems: intolerance; perceiving collaborators as stupid, lazy, demanding, or undisciplined; social contacts harder; cynicism, aggression; problems are viewed as caused by time pressure and work, not because of life changes.
7. Withdrawal: social life small or nonexistent, need to feel relief from stress, addictions, escape.
8. Odd Behavioural Changes: changes in behaviour are obvious; friends and family concerned.
9. Depersonalization: seeing neither self nor others as valuable, and no longer perceive own needs.
10. Inner Emptiness: feeling empty inside and to overcome this, look for activity to escape; activities are often exaggerated.
11. Depression: feeling lost and unsure, exhausted, future feels bleak and dark.
12. Burnout Syndrome: can include total mental and physical collapse; time for full medical attention.
If you are experiencing any of these and want to steer yourself out of danger, work with me.
It was a lot for me to look at this list the first few times.
Do you identify with any, or many, of these stages of burnout? When I was in the worst of severe burnout I had to face the stark reality that where I was at, where I had been and what I was going through was serious and worsening. It took courage. It also required help, knowledge and energy to see. When I got to acceptance I was in the 12th stage, burnout syndrome. Shocked at what had happened to my life, I had to stop working, shift my career, transform a partnership into co-parenting and ask for help. It was like coming out of a veil of DO DO DO, don’t stop, can’t stop, keep going and then landing at BE with almost nothing left to run on and a lot of mess to attend to.
Signs of burnout sneak up, some are obvious and others come and go.
Rarely does anyone’s experience go neatly in order from “compulsion to prove oneself” to “burnout syndrome”, instead there are signs along the way that can be hard to see until we know what to look for. Burnout looks a lot like daily life, after all!
These signs are flags, red or orange, to alert you to burnout happening. Once you see burnout is happening you can assess yourself, alone or with a health professional, and attend to where you are in the 12 stages. Some of these signs can be a result of poor digestion, insomnia, ptsd or other issues. If you recognize any of these in you, please reach out, I’ll put my health detective hat on and we will figure out what’s going on and who else we might pull into a circle of care for your recovery and freedom.
Recognizing the Signs of Burnout
Disaffected & snarky about your work, workplace, colleagues or about your organization, your role in your family, your life overall
Creeping exhaustion
Feeling stagnant, as though life isn’t getting you anywhere
Bored and detached, even with things on your plate
Higher than normal levels of procrastination
Experiencing mysterious illnesses you can’t shake
Realizing that you haven't taken time off
Generally disliking or hating the things you used to love, feel fine about, tolerate
Physically; sleep and appetite going awry are also signs that burnout could be at play.
Facing burnout at any stage is brave and tender. A lot of us are living in burnout and, while I have a BIG want for that to change, reality is that many of us will continue to live in some earlier stage of burnout for a while or a lifetime. So if you're thinking, "that's cool but my circumstance is incredibly stressful and out of my control. I am just in burnout and it isn't gonna change that much!", I believe you, and I believe you can have less burnout.
Wrapping your arms around this truth that no matter what, you will continue to change as burnout carries on can catalyze the decisions you make for health across the board. Which direction that change heads lies in your decisions. Even with such low capacity in the worst of burnout, decisions are being made, that’s often when we need a light held up so we can see and embrace the other option. This is where we connect, get help and get clear.
When burnout sets in, being self-ish is the antidote to overdoing.
My reaction to this when I was in burnout syndrome was fight, flight, freeze and all the nervous system reactions one naturally has when in survival. I couldn’t take in anything outside my scope of stay alive, and I had lived like this for so long (generations), and for real reasons (classism, misogyny, isms and phobias), that anyone who couldn’t relate was an insult to my sense of self (aka “idiot!”).
I’d think: “People have no idea what my life is like, I have to keep fighting, I don’t know what else to do, and I can’t let people down.”
also: “If I can just get over this next hump, I know this can work, I know there can be hope, I have to keep trying.”
and if someone suggested change, I would go to: “I am so tired already, I can’t DO anymore. I am resigned to this life, the problems are bigger than me, but I have to keep trying. Plus, there is no other way to do this, people just don’t get it.”
And I was right, in the moment I wasn’t doing something else because I had no idea where this drive could take me. I was able to keep going and so I did, until I was no longer able. Literally, my brain stopped working, my compassion turned evil and I had to dramatically leave my role in the clinic I had owned and generated for a decade. My business partner, and the remaining team, had to take over. My mental-emotional health had tanked, it was affecting my kids and family and I was done.
Looking back, it’s clear there were changes I could have made, helps I could have asked for and things that could have been different, but in the thick of it, I could not see.
There will always be 20/20 hindsight. What’s here now is that there is also wisdom and lived experiences I can share to help you get clear and make the sovereign decisions to set a new course.
Contributing to prevention and recovery from the worst of burnout and centring our communities on freedom is vibrant and burning bright. Am I completely out of all burnout and existing in absolute harmony? no, of course not! I am healing, and very recovered now and will never hit that low ever again, my life is clearly in my zone now, and I can’t control the world around me, but I sure can live in power, and with that power create a life of freedom, for all.
It isn’t that I ended up making way more money and that got me out of it, or that I somehow found the healer who restored my nervous system and never have to deal with anxiety, depression and ptsd… It’s that I asked for help, again and again and again.
Inside the help (mostly unpaid or sliding scale), I learned:
I am responsible for my happiness (I can control my decisions).
I am not responsible for all the conditions I exist in (I can’t control the world).
To cope I need empathy, from others and from myself. I am the one who has to ask for it, and then discern if the person I ask it from is actually offering empathy. If someone is trying to fix me, or fix something for me, it is rarely helpful unless fixing is the thing I ask for.
Living under oppression is fucking awful, and decisions remain. In truth I could only entertain this once I had some sustainable financial resources, that took 4 years post bankruptcy and during the 1st 2 years of the pandemic. To get to financial sustainability I asked for help and people took an educated chance on me. I was very unwell, and am grateful to the people who helped me ground and make roots. This included making agreements with 2 friends about financial support for when I can’t make ends meet. currently my practice and the agreements are in place for me to no longer worry about making rent from month to month. Intergenerational burnout has a lot to do with systemic class realities, and still, decisions remain.
Even with all the real reasons, external conditions and systemic harm, I made mistakes that contributed to my burnout. I am not bad for that, nor am I good for noticing it, a frame of judgment can skew the vision. Mistakes are what humans do (evil is no exception) and this is often how we learn (painful for all involved).
Sovereignty is, including the decisions I make that keep me down. Where decisions are subconscious, I work to bring them into the light. Where decisions are semi-conscious I cultivate and listen to deeper knowing, offering myself forgiveness for where I keep making the same mistake and courage to physically experience the remorse. I learned that in the remorse there is so much energy to make a different decision!
You will change the course, one decision at a time, with help, commitment and clarity. I offer care for where you are in stages of burnout, with wisdom and presence to guide and listen as you decide, and decide and decide.
I see now that the burnout itself had me stuck, it’s a catch 22… burnout means burned out, literally. Our brains can no longer nudge out of a fixed state and curiosity moves off the table because we physically do not have the brain power to imagine anything other than what is.
There is another world possible. Always.
I wish someone had come along and told me this, sat me down, listened to my reactions and stayed steady in their knowing that multiple realities are real. The fire is real, as is the stream running along side it, the wood burning below the flames, the air fanning the fire and the earth, scorched and steady. All real. All around you is a world of resource. I know it’s hard to see it from inside the fire, but it is here, I promise.
I am sure people did try to tell me this was too much and I couldn’t hear them through the fog, distress and suffering. Often they were stressed, worried, surviving and the fear in them resonated with the fear in me. We are afraid for real reasons, and I am no longer afraid of burnout. Embracing the fire, wrapping my arms all the way around has shown me a fire gone wild requires containment and maybe extinguishment. The smoldering coals need a gust of wind from a new direction, the extinguished flame needs new kindling logs to burn, and help to reignite the fire.
The Yang of the burn requires the Yin of cooling presence to heal and renew.
Maybe you can’t hear me now, or you can but change is beyond your imagination. Either way this resource is here for you, now or when you come for help. It is not your fault you are here and however daunting it may feel, it is your responsibility. The same energy you are using to stay afloat is the energy you can tap to turn your ship around. The energy is in you to ask for help, to develop beyond survival, to follow and light the path of freedom. There will always be an outer world you can not control, so what now?
The ONE Commitment that will orient you out of burnout today is in asking yourself this question: "Is this MY responsibility?"
Go back to burnout stage 1. At stage 1 the enthusiasm to take on more responsibility is part of launching a path of overdoing. The responsibility question then, at any stage, brings us back to the root of the disharmony and sends us back to ground zero, you, just you.
What is YOUR responsibility to you?
In the web of interrelation we live in, taking care of you first is crucial. Even though it feels "selfish", when we are out of flow and showing signs of minor or major burnout syndrome the only thing to do is to attend to Self. Be it for an hour, a week or a long term leave, if your fire is out, it needs tending.
How can energetic medicine help?
Integrating The 12 stages of Burnout into my practice, I apply Acupuncture and the principles of Traditional East Asian Medicine to treat the symptoms and reroute your Qi, returning flow to your being and addressing the depleting, and serious, impacts of Burnout.
Is burnout is something you want to prevent or recover from?
Traditional East Asian Medicines offer a wholistic approach to the life decisions that heal. You and I can do treatment, coaching, nutrition, body work and consistency. I have worked in community medicine for over 20 years with some of the fiercest frontline, revolutionaries, leaders and changemakers to bring about their renewed body and souls. I come connected to a wide web of health practitioners, therapists and resources, a care team is here, for you and yours, for freedom.
We have a right to life, and to health. It is possible to serve and be served, to do for self and do for others.
None of this will happen overnight. I don’t share this to scare you, this is person to person real talk. I know some of you are struggling on many levels and that you can find portals to recovery and transformation. We need our leaders to have more support, our frontline workers to be cared for and our systems to change towards interdependence through living it, all the way through.
To book an appointment, or a 15 min free check in please
Sources:
The Needle in the Haystack: Acupuncture Protocols for the Prevention and Treatment of Burnout Syndrome - Distance Education by Keith Bell
https://www.inc.com/jessica-stillman/the-12-stages-of-burnout-according-to-psychologist.html
Dr. Jenn McCabe and the World Maker Leadership Program
